Wow, it is almost 2 years since i last exercised my fingers in this blog. My first born made a blog especially for the both of us to see..as a parting gift when she yonder down down under....14th may 2009. i was somewhat surprised i was affected, i know i am a highly emotional person but the following day's spill over effect was beyond what i expected....the grief was unbearable. i could not function, i could not go to work as just a little time, i paused, i thought of my little girl and tears would just well up. i went out to buy some lunch, chicken rice. There i saw a girl with glasses and her spectacle rim was very similar to my little girl, i started to choke up and could not look at her, i began to tear. i held back my tears as if i looked at that girl, i would see my first born. i thought to myself, gosh she is well and alive and making steps to a new beginning in her life, why am i behaving as if i lost her totally. i guess i did not realise i felt and loved her as much as i do. As i write, i tear now just thinking about her. Perhaps i am a cry baby and need to just let my emotions go. i need writing therapy and i grief best this way.
Thoughts that there was less plates to spin is a fallacy. My hands keep them spinning. After spending a tinge bit of time before my first born's trip to NZ, my princess keeps me on my toes again. No wonder my life is a drama. Being in her house, supervising the help and trying to do a little bit of this, and a little bit of that all the time and every time, i am glad i gave myself some time last weekend. Whilst my pocket does not agree with the ringgit i donated to MPO and KLPAC this May month, i hardly ever regret going to the theatre. i took a pause to spinning the plates just on saturday, and this week was another crazy cycle. no one to blame, but just me, myself and irene. The 3 of us have probably lost a word in our vocabulary, REST....... i penned to a friend, letting him know he is loved, just to encourage him, just to applaud him as he deserves so much as he gives so much more., Dr Gan, i applaud you, do stop to smell the flowers and receive the LOVE all of us give you.
It's almost 11pm, and i should stop spinning for today, but if i had my way, my fingers would continue the spinning, but wisdom knows when the the R word must come.....Here it comes REST......LORD says.
Thank you Lord for a wonderful eventful and exciting week
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