His signs for my mission trip

2010 is coming to a close, and i had decided this was a year of jubilee and i take some time off and enjoy things, so i did not go for any trip except my holiday in Australia.

It was at the back of my mind to get up and serve God again in 2011, and so when the opportune came when Bapak Anthony sent an email blast about his next exposure trip to Medan, i started praying about it. I have learned that there are many things in life to do and serve God but only what He wants us to do and not what we want to do. So, i started praying and asking God if this trip to Medan in mid January is something I should do. I even gave God a dateline, i said please let me know by month end. One of the reasons i wanted that timing was so that i could share this information to others in church to see if others would want to join me. First thing i remembered is this.........I think the answer came fast, in fact too fast that i was not sure if it was really Him speaking.

I have been devouring books on prayers quite intently of late after i attended the prayer conference and learning about the Bario revival etc. One of the books i picked up to read which i bought some time ago was on Intercession - Joy Dawson, published by YWAM. The chapter either the same or the following night after my prayer.......these 2 words jumped out at me. Page 87 one of the words said this THE COMMAND IS GO!!!, Then, the following page it talks about the call to missionary work a couple from New Zealand responded to and guess what?........To indonesia. When those jumped at me, i thought God your answer cant be that fast can it??? I asked for more confirmation.... Next my cousin, who has the gift of prophecy tells me about her dream and the word travel agent and pastor hepzi. I did not take heed as one must get an answer directly from God. On Dec 4th, our family did an outreach christmas party and the one of the pastor's name was Pastor Happy...hepzi now that was pretty close. Sigh.......anyway i still did not want to assume what my cousin said.

Fast forward, there is a training program for Alpha people in mid january, and then in our prayer meeting we decided we will have our first dawn prayer in mid january. So, i thought to myself, God i have things to do in my own house, so i guess it is a NO for the trip. Then, quietly in my thoughts, i told God if you change the Alpha training, then you might tell me you want me to go. Guess what, the training did change to 20th. I was still saying this is not the sign. Finally, about a week ago, i knew that our first group prayer meeting for trip will start soon and so that friday asked God very specifically Can you please let me know if i should or should not go for the trip, please show me a sign or someone or something to do with indonesia so that i can know once and for all about this trip.

Lo and behold that same morning, Bapak Anthony the man who started this mission trip to Medan calls me, i was out and driving and he was asking me for my church details and service timing etc as he had HE of Le Soto wanting to find a church to go to. I did not think anything of it until later that evening whilst i was in the living room and just relaxed and folding clothes in front of the TV set, i felt the Holy Spirit prompting me........."Hello,you wanted a sign, this CALL from bapak Anthony is that not a sign, this is a CALL from the person who originated these trip"......It was an Ah Ha moment, i really felt like i was duh.......how blur and slow can i be? i immediately jumped up went upstairs and sent Bapak an email. I remember telling him that if he felt i was the only female and cannot go, it is ok as my act was to obey and to go or not was Holy Spirit's decision not mine. I praised God that though i was slow i received His prompting.

Fast forward, i prayed and asked God which testimony i should share at the USJ malay service and it seem like on being joyful and rejoicing. It was therefore most encouraging when at the beginning of the service the mc reminded us to be joyful. they then sang a song on psalm 118:24. I was so encouraged, God gave me encouragement that this was exactly what he wanted me to share. All glory be unto Him.

God knows even when i open my eyes....

Yes, do you see that SMILEY face, the photograph was taken the day i was going to be discharged. All i know is my GOD IS REAL and SO SO PERSONAL. The day i was wheeled out of my room for my surgery, i closed my eyes as i was afraid i would be dizzy. I really do not know which way they pushed me when i was wheeled out of my room to the OT, so when they stopped a while, i just pry open my eyes a little, and God showed me this SMILEY FACE.......I smiled as i knew it was HIS way of telling me HE is with me and I should not fear. As i reflected the following day (still not fully recovered the GA), it was so awesome to REALISE, KNOW and MARVEL how DETAIL sweet Jesus is, He even knows the exact timing and where i would open my eyes and allow my vision to cast on something that means something to me. You see last year when i went for a mission trip in Medan, i bought about 50 pieces or so of these SMILEY badges for children. I organised printing of the word "I LOVE JESUS" as a sticker for the kids......thus it was something i liked.

Well, you want to know how great my God is, and how He prepares me all the way for my surgery. Well, i should check myself into a single room with a view of a courtyard. I was the 4th patient to undergo surgery for that day. It rained quite a bit, and i said quietly if He would slow down the rain as Linda and Elizabeth, my cheerleaders were going to come and pray for me before i got wheeled in. It was probably about past 7 or 8am, i just walked over to the window and looked outside, my eyes shifted to the sky and GOSH i see a rainbow, not one but 2! Rainbows is something i really like. There are times when i am not sure what i am doing is right or in his will or not and I have asked God to let me know and show me a rainbow, so when i see one i know He is telling me it is alright, it is ok.

I just told my friend Michelle that there was praise music when i entered the operating room and she was not sure if it is really possible, i said yes. You see the surgeon who slit my throat Dr Koay is a believer too, and the nurse who was plugging me with all the gadgets when i was on the operating table was wearing a cross too, now how more comforting can that be. The funny thing is the evangelist in me did not stop working. I asked the nurse and then the anasthestist if he too was a christian and he said no, proudly dr wong says "free thinker". I told him as briefly as i could, not yet. I said watching black and white tv might be ok, but once you get to color tv, you will never want to go back to black and white, thats what it is when you become a christian.

God is so good, though the BP was erratic and concern, the doctors knew what they were doing. Praise GOd from where all blessing flow. I was discharged with medication only for antibiotic and pain killers. My levels were ok and i did not need any thyroxin, not yet anyway. I now resolve to leave it to GOD for a good report when i visit Dr Koay for removal of my sutures and get the lab results. I thank God for Linda and Elizabeth, my cheerleaders. I thank God for my first born for her volunteering to staying over throughout the trip and for julian and dwyane and michelle for visiting.

Thank you Lord also for preparing me to discover reading that there is a TREE of LIFE in the book of Genesis as well as the book of Revelations. To me that revelation was like you God preparing me......just in case something happens. It was double confirmation that should i meet you prematurely i know and i know there is really a beautiful heaven there. Father i thank you because you know all my heart's concern and everything and everything. you are indeed a ONE TRUE COMPASSIONATE and LOVING GOD and ABA FATHER, I LOVE YOU................

My OZ trip.........

more photos

First time in my life......

Thank you Lord for the trip to Australia. I have never had the opportunity or luxury of taking 3 weeks and more off just for myself. Father I thank you because only with you is that possible. I thank you for the wonderful time i spent just relaxing and not rushing or having too much to think of this and that. Father thank you that the wedding went well. Lord, please continue to be with Wynn and Paul as she begins a new chapter in her life.

I enjoyed especially the trip in Kuranda, the little boat ride to the Rainforest, the calming waters and the chirping birds. The scenic train ride was also great. Thank you Lord for the time in the parks, and the joy of feeding the seagulls, parakeets and whatever your creation that came to my path. Thank you for letting me experience the cold and bless Christine for opening her home to me. Thank you and continue to bless uncle Philip and keep aunty june in health. Thank you Lord that you look into all the details, letting me have a place in Melbourn, bringing Kelly and PS there for me to shower and rest.

Thank you Lord for Jean Yuen and TH for their kindness or a ready deal when i get back within 2 days. All this is only possible because Lord you give favour to my life. Father Aba, I pray you continue to put the desire in me more and more to be closer to you, to want to know you even more. Thank you for Dr Jega and Sandra, Lord bless them with a trip to get away for them to breathe from all the hectic. Bless Sandra if it is in your plan to let her work full time.

Dear Lord, thank you that Carol is beginning a closer walk and putting you in the centre of her marriage. Father, I claim Jeremiah 3:22 as you say you will cure the back slidden. Lord, bring Julian back to fellowship with you. Father, please speak and touch Michelle as you lead and show her your plan for her in her work.

I praise you for the dross and scum i learnt about myself, i praise you for giving me a teachable spirit. I thank you for more correspondences.... I praise you, and i surrender myself entirely to you. I thank you for bringing Happy to spend time with me now and again..........I exalt you and i thank you........IN JESUS MIGHTY NAME. Next blog just photos

Farewell to Mrs Wynn McLennan

I have known Wynn for a few years now, and she just blended very well in our little group. She was someone i could call on for last minute dinner, share my inner thoughts and silly things, girly things.......and now she is moving yonder to get married. I am truly happy for her, but i also hope she will let God be in the centre of her life. I hope she will find a church in Townsville and keep God in her life, to talk to him, to influence Paul to get to know Jesus too.

Father, will you please bless my friend, thank you Lord that she has found work and that she has no urgency to move her things. Thank you Lord that Paul loves her so much, thank you Lord for bringing her to my path, both for her and myself. Yes, i will miss her because i cannot just pick up the phone and call her and see within a few hours. Father, please please let her know you, let her experience how much more lovely life will be with you in her life and also Paul's.

Please help her find a church and also some nice friends there. Watch over her and let her get adjusted quick in life. I thank you for bringing her to my path. I praise you and I exalt you, yes i will miss her, truly miss her and wish all good things in her path..........

Wow.......it's been a while

Sigh.......it's 1.26am as it says on the bottom corner right side of my computer. Today is the first time i come back into my long lost study room. Well, not everything is quite sorted but at least the furniture has been moved a bit and my back faces the wall, my 2 white book shelves on the left side of me, sofa and arm chair infront. It feels so nice, things a little more organised.

Its been quite an eventful few months. By God's grace made some bigger bucks. Practically everything and more went into the house for Michelle. Carol got married and Praise you Jesus as everything went without a hitch. I could see she was pleased. I just completely surrender Michelle to God and He will touch her in His own special way that He did Carol. How can we ever forget that testimony.......Mighty to Save.... Thank you Lord for giving us a seller who willingly let the girls stay without cost. You are indeed awesome God.

Father, i now come to you and lay before you the Pavilion office tower and ask for your favour for things to come through. Thank you Lord for a new friend, R. Someone to banter with? Thank you for the opportunity to pray for Titus, thank you for being involved with the prayer ministry and making it move forward. Thanks for giving me your balm when it hurts.

I must remember Joy of the Lord is my strength. Be joyful always, give thanks in all circumstances and prayerful at all times as that is the will of God for us. Praise you Jesus........Its so good to have space again and to write again, joy pure joy
Glory glory to your name..........

My RM100 Sunday Star newspaper

Last Sunday, i had the rare occasion to have breakfast at Rocky's on a sunday before Church. As i was enjoying my coffee, toast and eggs, i noticed CityHall's big truck approaching out side. Before I realise it, 2 men approached Ganesan, the newspaper peddler at the 5' way and started to confiscate his newspaper. Pat, the owner of the shop alerted her staff to go help him save the newspaper. I joined in as i got up from my seat and strode out. I did not realise i had taken my wallet or handbag with me.
As i tried to collect the papers, i suddenly said, i am buying the newspaper........they ignored me, the 2 enforcement officers...then i said louder I AM BUYING ALL THE NEWSPAPER!!!, i opened my wallet and there were only a couple of tens and one, so i remembered my birthday ang pau, and pulled out one of the RM100 bill and put it in the newspaper peddler's plastic tub, the indian man was practically pleading with them, she is buying the newspaper, they let then let it go........

Within minutes as things calmed down, Ganesan approached me and wanted to return the RM100. I told him, it's ok, i can bless you with it. I said pray, Jesus loves you and He will take care of you. Just pray, i gave him a gentle touch. I shared this briefly in church with my praying partner friend, and Rachel said "not everybody hasFacebook, give God the glory"....and obediently i did!

The moral of the story is not about me or this "so called heroic act", it is about Seeing and acting upon an opportunity God presents to us to help those weaker than us, to just help one another..........All the glory and praise to Him who gave, and as the bible says"Freely you receive, freely you give"....I received the ang pau freely, so i gave freely..........God is awesome and I thank Him for giving me the opportunity...

This afternoon..........

This afternoon, i missed my mom. I could feel her presence and yet i missed her. Today was our chinese new year celebrations in Hospis as we made different dishes for patients and volunteers alike to savour. There was make up and photography session, which is like now a norm we do for the patients.

It was a really good time, and i felt my prayers answered as everyone was in good cheer. Dr Tuen made the achar(pickle) and it tasted and looked even like what my mom would cook. As i spoke of this that this was so much like how my mom would make the achar, i suddenly teared. I felt my mom's presence, and at the same time i missed her so terribly. It has been such a long long time that i have cried over my mom or missed her but This afternoon i really missed her terribly.

As i reflect and articulate it in my mind, i realised the achar pickles really was the trigger. However, what i actually felt this afternoon with the activities in Day Care and the lunch was warmth, care and LOVE as the "Family gathered". All these i resonated and associated it with mom. She was LOVE and she brought the family together....

I think my tears are now dried up and i want to end this entry on a positive note. I am grateful to God for all He provides, my life and my family and my friends.I want to remember the joy.........

How Food bonds........

Yesterday i was treated along with more than 20 of us volunteers to a dinner by the generosity of one of our volunteers nephew. Mr Lim has bought us lunch many times over, and may God bless him for his generosity.

I should have taken some photos, but i did not, so lets leave it be. However i must say that i am really believing that food does bond people. 2 weekends ago, as a couple from our church leave for Australia, we had a farewell lunch for them. It was nice to laugh and get to know others outside of church. It was really fun!!!Thus, the other day when i saw some disunity i thought about this fellowship thing, of just getting together for fun! How true it is that food bonds people.

i am resolved to make this happen a little more this year.........

Yes!!! Kinda proud of myself, well kinda anyway...

That's a resounding YES because I am very proud of myself today...and why, but for a couple of reasons.. Well, one of the things was being able to go into the kitchen after 6pm because i did do some work today, but yikes, the phone bill is going to be mighty high this month. Good to know that i could just switch off and head for the kitchen... Glad my thoughts were sorted as my hands started with attending to the thawed puff pastry as i cut and rolled the sardines, pack them in a nice little tub, all prepared and only to egg wash and bake them. You do not know what a GOOD FEELING it is to know on thursday, there will be no rush, even if i need to pick any of the patients as i will be a cool cucumber ready and relaxed. Mind you, to me this is an incredible feat to have done something ahead and prepared as i am too much a spontaneous and last minute decision person, and then stress myself up because i want to do this and that!

Was nice also to go clear the fridge and attempt again my yummylicious tomato pasta sauce. Thank you Lord that first born is at least taking fish, and not totally vegan. Nice to know also Princess will be coming to savour the pasta and that i cleared the fridge using salami etc. Lord, i pray for a good time tomorrow with my princess. Sigh........now as i finish my blogging of being proud of myself, i am going to try my hand with that lemon curd. Gosh, did not realise lemon jams can be so rich and unhealthy!!!

And why the blogging and the hype for all this. Well, one of my resolutions, or shall i say aspirations for 2010 is THINKING, PREPARING and BEING PUNCTUAL. Just nice, being able to do some work, and then get in the kitchen to do "my thing", preparing food and being ok that it is going into the freezer. I use to have a "Yuks no no" to place food in the freezer.

And now to continue as much as possible to prepare what i want to wear the next day which will translate to less stress, less rush and that indeed is such a good feeling... Today, i gave my blog address to someone, a fellow blogger...and yikes i feel so strange, guess now someone is really going to read what i put pen to paper on. The fan is blowing, am in the dining and thoughts are going to my lemon curd...

Thank God also for Mrs Wong, Father I just commit this deal to you. Lord, thank you for the way Mrs Wong wants to deal with me...this is your favour indeed. Well, thank you that in the natural, you give me the gift to handling the phone call so well that the unexpected happens and Mrs Wong calls me....WIth you Lord, all things are possible. Truth be told, i shall write to Catherine and Geoffrey to pre empt them that Mrs Wong chose to work with me...Thank you Lord however the deal will turn out.

Thank you Lord for a good day, thank you Lord we had a good chat with TsiTsi and bless and use them in their church. Thank you Lord that Sandra and Dr Jega are willing to accept our farewell lunch invite. Thank you Lord for everything,new friends....your love and your faithfulness...I exalt thee....

A journal to pen Happy Thoughts...

I received this belated Christmas present from ..... who enjoys "biting my head", but has an awesome wonderful heart! The book jogged my memory about just putting pen to paper good and happy moments, and as i wrote to thank this person, i shared this reminder of 1 corinthian 13:4 ie to cut the drama and crap in life, and just live cheerfully. The word of God says "Love records no wrongs, and love never fails"

Firstly, this book brought to mind my first happy thought for the year...As i laid my head on my pillow in my room all cleaned, and as i lay...I was truly HAPPY i could enjoy the wonderful clean and crisp bedsheets as i snuggled in my bed...Real joy. My first entry in this Happy Journal was the happy and elated emotions when i received a reply from my cousin in Australia that i could stay in her house i were to visit!!! Yippee, though she said i could have her study and sofa bed, it was a place i could stay in and not have to worry about hotel costs etc. I googled about train rides from Sydney to Townsville where the wedding would be and I am excited and happy about the prospect of this trip.

My fellow volunteer friend reminded me what makes him happy, to be happy even when his bagel was toasted rightly!!! Now, how is that for gratitude!!! I am happy, just being able to sit here although it is past 8am. Still donning part of my pjs( covered up for decency) as i hear the traffic swish by and the birds not necessarily singing but crowing........Yes, crows are a creation of God too!

I am happy that though i had tears last night with a church situation, i realise and remember this is part of life in the world and i need to learn to cope with it. I am happy i have a good brain and heart to be aware that there are times i have to let go and let things happen. I am happy that i thought of my mom's journal which i never finished and how it could be done for about RM200....

I am happy because i have so many things going on in my life. I am happy that though i awoke early, i connected with God in my prayers.. and had a girlfriend to talk to.

Thank you Lord i am happy, because you love me

God's Lesson using my anklet...

This morning as i awoke at 3am, tried to get back to sleep but intermittently only. Was up then at 5am as needed to send my princess to the sentral station for her flight to Taipei.

When i got back and spent some quiet time, i glanced at my anklet which i had looped to tighten as part of it was dangling more than it should, and causing me to step on it etc. I then began trying to untie it, and tried as i did, it did not untangle itself. Being in the stillness of things, what came to mind was what happens when we entangle ourselves with things we should not and then we end up being entrapped. My mind went to my princess and concern of whom she was befriending. Whilst i said it is ok to know them, she need to be wary not to spend too much time with them. How could i send this message across and God's lesson of entanglement to her....

The harder i try, the more difficult it became as the chains were just so tiny, it was almost locked in. Then, I remembered my sister's advice that in life, there will be distractions but we were to focus on Jesus, His righteousness and His kingdom. I remembered also the word in this book i am starting to read about praying for your adult children and how we do not only politely pray, but pray fervently.

I looked at the anklet and then in my breath, said Lord please help me to teach my princess, to tell her how she could be entangled, and help me how to disentangle and solve this issue.......Miraculously as i lift gently and gently, the chain was disentangled at a blink of an eye, so effortlessly . I just witnessed a miracle as God showed me when i turn to Him and plead and hand over the reigns, He will do it effortlessly for me.....Thank you Lord for this lesson, thank you Lord for this letting me experience once again your miracle. People who hear about this or read this may not understand, but i know Lord and that you spoke and showed me this miracle of effortless when we turn to you and ask you. How i praise you Lord, how i ask you forgive me for trying to handle things on my own.......

In Jesus name......

Pause on hosting.......

It's 4th of January, and i would like to think that this evening is the last of the celebration of having people over for a meal. The newly weds were my last guests on the few i have hosted...3 dinners and 1 tea meal...that's quite a bit for me.

I am glad though today's food turned out well. I think i have to say my speciality is pasta, not the chicken etc. The tomato paste, chunky tomato with a twist balsamic vinegar and brown sugar was nice. It was a nice touch to place the garlic bread in between the spaghetti...nice novelty design effect.

It was nice of Wyn and Paul to come by before leaving tomorrow. It was nice to have a simple meal in the nice ambience of my D'Patio. i am glad i did not do what i did this afternoon, spaghetti for the girls with my regular anchovies and smoked salmon and pine nuts. I want to put the receipe down, as truly i think the pasta tonight was yummylicious as some people say. Having pesto on my garlic toast was also nice, and then having the balsamic to dip....

Have been good so far as writing expenses down, Just need to ensure it continues and also need to buy the girls a book each to encourage them. It was a good time to fellowship and thank you Lord for Michelle being open to the suggestion i gave her. Lord just continue your wonderful work with my daugther

Getting a little sleepy now, but hair still wet. OK, download some pics

Reflecting 2009 and welcoming 2010...

Time is something once passed, does not come your way yet again. It's past midnight ie 2nd of January 2010...a new decade,a new year. I felt so good yesterday as i set and determine to do the chores i wanted to....Clean my room and give away stuff. It was so nice to smell clean sheets when i got home at almost 2am. It was nice to clean my chest of drawers and my dressing rack, well that is what it is just a white shelf stuck on the wall with a mirror. So nice to clean and clear things, so nice to know i was coming to fresh clean white sheets and my white comforter... Took mom's decor teddy and it now sits accompanying me on the bed.

It was nice to put the cuckoo clocks at the dining room. It was just too much money to pay to repair the clocks.....over RM200 and over RM500!!! Mom bought hers at RM100 many many years ago, and my other cuckoo is almost brand new...Am glad i did not chuck it away as i always do that with things that do not work......am glad they became nice decorative items on the wall all 3 of them. Am glad i also bought the runner which fits so well my cabinet at the entrance of the house......I just love pretty things and i love to make things pretty and the rug or runner was something i just had to bring back home.

Ok, so much for stuff, now for the human side of things. Firstly, had a wonderful though brief time for breakfast with Princess as she was off to Melbourne. It was nice to just to spend time with her, eat with her and pray with her. Though it was simple old roti canai telor at D'Patio...I just love the morning. We talked briefly about things and taking a box of my choc chip cookies to share with her crew..i took few candid photos of my Princess...

Reflecting...? As i was in my sister's church yesterday, i just shed tears in my eyes when i saw and realised my god son and god daughter were up in the front worshiping God, Cheryl was playing and dancing with the tambourines as Kevin sang in the choir. Nice to see my brother in law lifting his hand worshiping God. I thought to myself, what joy it is for a parent to see and know that your children are serving God, and walking in His path and will....What Joy indeed it is. I felt God's presence and my mind went to 2009 and what happened. The title of the service is Thanksgiving to God for 2009. I am glad my friend hosted a dinner at her home, and I am thankful for the sandwich she made with pickles and chips.

I could list so many things to thank God for....I thank God for letting me start and going to Medan for Missions, not once but twice. I thank God for letting me go for my angio gram, otherwise I would not know or take seriously my hypertension which is now under control. I thank God for the opportunity and friendships he has given me. I thank God for His provisions and so timely always. I thank God for my children, for Him to looking after them, for a wonderful relationship we have. I thank God for letting me remember that i must let my spirit rule and not flesh. It is not about ourselves. I thank God for everything. I thank God I am able to sit and type right now to thank Him. Sigh.......there are just so many things to thank Him for. I want to journal more, and yes maybe write all these little testimonies. Mr Ong from Serdang's Ordinary Man's Stories is something I really enjoy reading.

This morning as i spent some time with God, I thought about how to be more structured in my reading and i divided the Psalms. Well, after i down load some photos, i need to retire...It is half twelve now and I just THANK GOD for His faithfullness. I am proud and glad how God used my brother to invoke a spirit of live and peace today. His sending wishes and the effort of calling and speaking prompted to do some things. I messaged people whom i feel needed the touch of God and it was so inspiring and warmth to my heart. Yes, hair is still wet so i cannot beddie bye yet.